"You're Weird."

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy to be normal" -- Albert Camus

Weird (adj.): of strange or extraordinary character.

Painting by u/DivaaEnergyIncoming (interesting username, I know) on Reddit.

“You’re weird” were the words uttered to me repeatedly in all grades of school by others with matching, trending socks, sleek fidget spinners and, undoubtedly, the latest tech in their pockets and expensive branded clothing in their closets.

The directors of this phrase seemed to know what it meant, but I didn’t.

All I knew was that it simplified my character: I am not Ezra: someone who has unique aspirations, interests & feelings, I am, rather, Ezra: weirdo.

I struggled to be non-weird, to be ‘cool.’

Yet, as I look back on the long days of contemplating what exactly ‘weird’ meant and how I can combat the tumor it seemed to be in the eyes of my classmates, I realize weird is only another way of saying different.

And, despite the way my peers made it seem, different is not bad.

Different is unique: it’s special.

Different is what makes each of us stand out in a world where conformity often seems like the easiest path.

Different is what makes leaders, ‘cool’ is what makes followers.

My so-called weirdness was simply my individuality shining through: my distinct perspectives and passions that didn’t fit into the narrow mold of what was deemed ‘cool’ by my peers.

But never did I ever pretend to be someone that I’m not, because I couldn’t, even if I tried: in the words of my peers, I was far too ‘weird,’ far too different, to fit their shape.

With this, then came the realization: a slow realization, that I am not ‘cool,’ nor can I ever become ‘cool’ because I am not apathetic to life: I carve my own drawings in it and mine my own tunnel through it: I do not travel the already mined tunnel, looking for the treasures of my deepest desires to find them already looted.

I then understood that the real weirdos are those who are not decisive: those who blend in, those who crave uniqueness through their binoculars of normalcy, those who don’t diverge.

In reality, I now know I’m the ‘cool’ one: I do things differently, and if you strive to fit in with homogeneity, you’re the weirdo.